Blowing Bullets

You hear the urban legends.  You hear the infamous ER stories.  You hear about kids shoving everything from peas to banana's up their nose.  I always thought to myself "nope, not my kids" but somewhere deep down I knew it was only a matter of time before we were presented with the 'up the nose' experiment, we do live with three boys after all.  Well alas, it happened!  Not Jamison, not Joshua, but our very intelligent first born.  He was sitting up at the island putting together a very tedious, tiny piece helicopter by following the detailed page-by-page directions (I might add that it's for Ages 8+ and my little six-year old was building like a champion - did I mention he's intelligent?)  The rest of the family was packing up and sunblocking to head out to the zoo, when suddenly:

Jack: Jumps off the stool in a panic while simultaneously turning pure white after realizing his experiment went seriously awry.  "uh, Uh, UH... OH NO!"  

Mom: "Honey, what's wrong (thinking he had broken his masterpiece?")

Jack: With Road-Runner speed he makes his way across the kitchen and announces to everyone "I'M GOING TO DIE!!!  I put a green thing in my nose and it's missing."  

Dad: In an utter panic runs to Jack to inspect the situation.  "OMG... it's in there... IT REALLY IS (hmmm... I wonder where Jack get's his panic reflex... it's a mystery... really.") 

Jack: Now crying louder due to Dad's calming response.

Mom: "Guys, calm down, it's ok... kids do this all the time, we'll get it out."  These magic words seem to work for the big kid and the small kid.  I walk over to Jack to peer up the canal and not so smartly announce "it's starting to bleed, let's get back on the wood floor."

Jack: "I'M BLEEDING?!?!"

Mom:  Oops, more damage control.  "Honey, it's ok.  We'll get it out.  People do this all the time, but I bet you won't do it again (what kind of Mom would I be without throwing that in there?)  Ok, I'm going to close off this side and I want you to blow real hard from the other side."

Jack: Mentally prepares, builds up his courage, winds up, and blows real hard....... out of his mouth.

Mom: "Sweety, let's try this again, but this time put your lips together as tight as you can and then blow out your nose."  It's all about the details with these little guys.

Jack: Mentally prepares, more courage, winds up, and blows hard enough to send this little green piece shooting across the kitchen like a bullet.

Joshi was standing there watching with eyes as big as saucers but as that bullet launched across the kitchen, we all started laughing hysterically.  The laughter was a combination of relief and the simple fact that Jack had just managed to launch a little green piece from his nose clear across the kitchen.  This should be a sport because he'd be a shoe in! 

On the way to the zoo Jack asked "Mommy, do kids really do that all the time?"  He didn't specify what "that" referred to but we all knew.  "Yes honey, they really do."