Lunchtime, Pooptime

Warning: This post is not for the faint of heart.  Read at your own risk.

Lunchtime, pooptime.  Otherwise known as "pooping hour" because it seems all boys have to poop at the exact same time, just after lunch.  Joshi announces "I have to go poopy and runs off to his corner."  If you go near him or even through a glance in his direction you will get the Joshi stink-eye and a very stern "don't loook at me Mommy!"  And yes, we've asked, begged, pleaded and attempted bribery no less than 1,000 times to go on the potty but to no avail... we'll give you a skittle, we'll give you 5 skittles, how about a whole chocolate cake, a pony perhaps???  Nothing.

Anyway, when pooping hour came to a close I set up the usual assembly line of diapers, wipes, diaper cream, and a couple of distracting toys to keep the fingers off the currently dirty boy bits.  Joshi up first.  All goes as planned but I was surprised by the baseball looking poo and was suddenly impressed by the sturdiness of Huggies pullups.  I got him all cleaned up and put the diaper aside - the plan was to finish changing both diapers, throw both in a bag, and deliver them to the outdoor garbage as we've done many times before.  Next up, little Jamestown. I lay him in the same spot and hand him a very enticing toy.  He decided it would be more fun to play with the wipes package.  That's cool because I had suddenly found myself knee deep in poo due to a 5-star blowout - whatever can keep him occupied while I painstakenly clear the poo from between each toe on his left foot.  I was so concentrated on my mission at hand that I didn't realize he had swapped the wipes package for Joshi's diaper.  I looked up and he had the baseballesque poo right in his hand like he was ready to throw a pitch!  OMG - something has gone horribly wrong here!!!  What do I do?  Grab it out of his hand?  Shake his wrist in hopes that it will come flying out?  Mommy instincts quickly kicked in.  I grabbed a wipe and snatched that poo right out of his hand (hey, isn't that a jingle?)  He found my reaction quite amusing like he knew exactly what he was doing.  "Ha, ha, watch my germaphobe Mommy quickly turn into a crazy person."  I scooped up his little naked tush and ran like a gazelle to the kitchen sink.  We stood there and washed his hands for a good 20 minutes and I'm certain we used half the bottle of soap - Bath and Body Works Fresh Picked Cherry foaming soap will never be the same.  Two days have past and the memory still causes a small gag in my throat.

Lesson learned: DO NOT underestimate the reach of a one year old.